Sam Raimi’s “Drag Me To Hell” opened with the old-fashioned Universal Studios reel, hinting at a good ol’ enjoyable classic horror film. Before the credits began, the film appeared ready to follow up on that promise. Unfortunately, after a some nice credits that mixed attribution and exposition, the film went decidedly downhill.
Alison Lohman plays a loan officer at a small bank, looking to make the leap to assistant manager. As she’s close to sealing the deal, an old gypsy woman asks for an extension on her mortgage. Trying to appease her boss, Lohman’s character refuses.
At this point, the story spirals into a sad predictable ghost story, as the gypsy curses Lohman, who then tries to get the curse removed, through a long process of eery wind-blowing, ominous gypsy music, and the ever-entertaining “I’m not crazy, they’re really out to get me!” scenes.
While it’s nice to be able to see Justin Long’s versatility as an actor — he plays opposite Lohman as the Psychology-teacher boyfriend — this alone cannot save the viewer from a long and dull experience of predictable tension, forced dialogue, and plotholes, finally wrapping up in a weak ending that Raimi gives away a good thirty minutes prior.
Spoiler Alert!
The film really doesn’t seem to have any concept of balance between intensity and calm. The fight with the gypsy lasted far longer than anyone cared to watch. Once Lohman is forced to consider animal sacrifice, we all might guess “perhaps she’ll initially be resistant, but eventually give up and try it.” Surprise, Raimi let you have that one.
Raimi strongly deviates from everything he presented about Justin Long’s character toward the middle of the film. Despite Long being portrayed as a skeptic, he ends up giving Lohman the $10,000 she needs to fund her “curse-lifting.” This in and of itself is not nearly as much of a stretch as the idea that Lohman would actually have mentioned this to Long in the first place.
Shortly after the seance, the fortune-teller informs Lohman that she can pass the curse off to someone else, by passing the cursed item to another individual as a gift. He claims that he did not tell her before, because it would make him an accomplice to murder. Whereas now? How has the situation changed?
Lohman then comes up with the brilliant idea of giving the curse back to the dead gypsy, and lo and behold, after some research, the fortune-teller discovers that it is possible. Are we to believe that this would not have occurred to this man? Really, occult genius, bested by a loan officer? Harsh.
Perhaps most disappointing is Raimi’s handling of the ending of the movie. Through very obvious camera shots and exposition, we learn that Lohman’s boyfriend collects coins. He seals one in an envelope early one. Curiously enough, Lohman seals the cursed button in an envelope as well. Any guesses as to what might happen, audience?
Nope? Okay, we’ll keep going. As they’re driving back, they slam on the brakes to avoid a pedestrian, and the envelopes go flying. Gasp, could it be…
At this point, Raimi tries to play up the drama by having Lohman’s character imagine who she might give the curse to. However, since the audience knows it’s a moot point, why bother, Raimi? Why freakin’ bother?
So Lohman tries to give the curse back to the gypsy woman, nearly dying in the process, and finally comes out to face the day, delighted and happy and ready to share her life with her boyfriend, who plans to propose. However, once they realize the mixup, boom! She freaks out, the floor opens up, she dies, the end.
Surprised? Hardly. Perhaps a stronger ending would have been if the mixup had happened, as we realized. Then Lohman, unsure of whether or not she’ll be able to give the button to the gypsy, leaves Long a note expressing her love and devotion and such. Lohman then drowns, trying to return the curse to the gypsy woman, and the next day, Long reads the letter, takes out the coin to remember her by, discovers instead a button…and cut to black.
Either way, the story was not compelling, was not novel, and certainly was not worth the time and money. Sam Raimi, you’re better than this.